2010 was such a great, yet such a hard year. It was the year our girl was born but it was also the year when something happened that turned out life upside down. My husband had lost his job. Which inevitably meant we had to give up our house in the area we loved just to survive. It also barrel rolled into my husband's ex wife to really stick to him and used that crappy situation to take his 2 kids away from him (using lack of money and too small of housing as an excuse)....we have yet to have contact with them. It's been 6 yrs. We've tried....BUT that's a story for another day.
We were forced to up-root ourselves and move into the city from the bliss of country living. We are country. No ifs ands or buts about it. We don't like hustle and bustle, don't like loud noise, hate traffic and concrete. I know not everyone is that way, some people enjoy it and I'm totally cool with that. But given the choice, please take me out of the city!!!!! Just not our thing. We are forced to be in the city world for now. But it's just fine tuning our appreciation for when we can be back in our element.
It spills into who we are as people.
We don't desire a big huge house that's fancy in decor. We don't need that shiny new car, we live on one average vehicle for our family. We don't like "being close to everything". We don't like large masses of people around us 24/7, 365. We don't like opening our patio door just to hear noise and traffic.
What we do like.....We like space. We like the quiet. We like the simple things. Our lifestyle could care less if we have the new coolest thing. We don't dress to what's "in". We don't follow trends....why? I like being an individual. We don't require the "flash". And it's funny because so many people will tell you they don't either, but their life will reflect otherwise. I don't mind mud and dirt. I enjoy the smell of livestock and alfalfa on a cool morning. We used to rodeo, honestly, I miss the smell of bulls on our jeans and in the car, Ha! Seriously, I do!
We notice the division in everyday life more and more each day. Or at least we have started to. Or at least I think that's what it is. Hmmmmm. Our lifestyle just doesn't match the environment we are forced to live in. Maybe it's become more and more apparent because we are becoming more content in the way God made us. He made us all different.
Finding our place among a world where our lifestyle is the alter ego is a very difficult place at the moment, though. We homeschool, that sets us apart from most of the people we are in contact with. As our kiddo is getting older it's starting to become more of a notice, kids are forming their own groups - especially if they go to similar schools and kiddo has been feeling left out, even in the way our life is put together, example we are in a tiny apartment and don't get to do much whereas others have nice backyards and often talk about the fun things they do. However, when our time comes I know she will appreciate it and understand humility at a different level. Also since my husband and myself are very "different" than those around us, it effects the relationships we have......we just flat out don't fit in. Which means finding kiddo those friends is naturally hard. Not saying that people we don't fit in with are bad...THEY AREN'T. It just simply means, we obviously don't fit in with their lifestyles and it's a-okay.
Some things are in the works this next season where, hopefully, it will lessen this burden and we will find connections that we mesh with better...like other homeschoolers and more "country type" people. All 3 of us in fact, have tried to change who we are to fit in and it's funny how that didn't even work! Honestly we were miserable! It has showed us we need to stay true to who we are, eventually things will change! Until the fall, we will hold strong in who WE are, God made us that way and He wouldn't want us to be anything other than that.
The past 6 years has really shown us a lot and also what we don't want in our life. We don't need the fancy flashy things to make our life healthy...just healthy true relationships, those people who are there for no other reason than "just because", and a comfortable stress free (as much as it can be) life. We need to nurture those roots that God grew us up with and stick to them....that's what is in our blood that's what we are.
I by all means am NOT saying the city is bad....it's just not for us, we just don't get that way of life. We don't mix well. Kind of like water and oil, both wonderful just very different and just don't mix. No hate, we just don't do well with city life....it's all good!